Thursday, February 23, 2012

changing my life

My training officially started this week.  I'm pretty excited to roll out some faster miles and be little more focused.  I have two half marathons in the future.  I really don't have any expectations as far as time goes for myself other then to give it hell.  I have nine weeks until my next race this year which for me is just about right.  If I have to much time I become kinda flat.  My legs are feeling good no major hot spots so to speak.  I've learned a couple interesting things about myself last year and hope to use it to my advantage this year.  If you don't know me very well running is my passion and I take it very seriously even if at times it doesn't seem like it.  I'm thankful for every run I'm able to complete without pain or injury.  Running gives me a sense of peace in my mind and helps me clear my head and move forward with a positive attitude.

On a different note I'm under a massive amount of stress.  I had something terrible happen to my mom and I'm not sure how to cope with it yet.  At times I'm not sure if this happened or happening but every morning I wake up and I realize its real.  I feel just completely numb to feelings and wish I could feel something and on the other hand I'm scared to feel anything.  It hurts me deep and scares me deeply.  I don't feel comfortable telling what happened at this point.  I'm just going to keep looking forward and pray. 

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